Recent “job” offer

Cool job offer guy

So I was minding my own business when I little alert email from my Ubercart account came in to tell me that i had a message waiting. I haven’ been involved in the Ubercart project for over 2 years and was surprised. I was unamazed to find an job offer (since the last 10 messages from there have been individuals looking for a cheap way to get an online store happening). The job offer was fairly long and boring so I didn’t bother reading it before my first replay:

Me
where is it and whats the rate?
NorWing
You can work from home.
We’re in European Union.
The project have a fix price. We’re not interested regarding hourly rate.
Thank you for your attention!

The words “fixed price” immediately made me lose interest. Every web-geek has done her fair share of “fixed price” jobs with unfixed hours. BUT you never knew. They might have a lot of cash “fixed”…?

Me
So then what is the time frame and how much can you offer?
NorWing
Your question it’s not pretty cool..
You don’t know nothing about the project and you’re asking for money?

“cool”? I knew this guy was a serious business guy now I did. But he was right! I still hadn’t read anything about the job. So I did…

General Requirements:
• Proficiency in PHP and Javascript, preferably jQuery
• Experience with Drupal, preferably Drupal 7
• Familiarity with Context, Features and other Drupal site-building modules
• Experience with version control, especially Git
• Familiarity with Apache, Nginx, Linux, MySQL
• Knowledge of web standards, including HTML, XHTML, CSS, XML
• Creativity, initiative, follow-through, meticulous attention to detail
and impeccable organizational skills

The usual “You will know EVERY technology we can think of which may-or-may-not be relavent to this project (just in case)”. The ending was interesting however:

We request technical recommendations and technical plan for the project.
Also we want to see your projects in Drupal 7 / Ubercart 3 and recommendations from these projects!

Time frame it’s VERY VERY important! In this way, you’ll work with our team.

Payments: we’ll release multiple payments after every specified task according with oDesk policy for fixed price jobs. We don’t release upfront payments.
The contract can be divided in max. 5 tasks.

IF YOU’RE THINKING THAT YOU’RE NOT EXPERT IN THIS KIND OF WORK, PLEASE DON’T SPEND YOUR TIME AND DON’T APPLY!

WE PREFER INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPER(Engineer!), INSTEAD COMPANY!

Yes, the old “Time frame it’s VERY VERY important!” line, and they prefer individuals (because a company won’t work off the clock and demand a contract).

AND then there is oDesk. If the Egyptian Pharaohs where asked to design an online job market, they would have come up with oDesk. As they say “See work-in-progress screenshots”. You can feel the man standing over you with the whip.

Me

Not pretty cool?

I thought we were talking about business not fashion? Your the one who mass-emailed me (which is really not pretty or cool).

Yes, i’m talking money because who works for free? I guess your after a “cool” developer who works for free or around 2euros/hour. We call them suckers in the web game (or any other game really).

Besides, your the one who says “Time frame it’s VERY VERY important!”. If your paying dick then i guess it is, but you havent said what the time frame is or how much per task. I guess you thought it was important BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY PARTY YOU LEFT THE CAPS-LOCK ON FOR.

So stop pulling by cock and tell me what the story is.

NorWing
yes. 1euro/hour..is fine?

I couldn’t actually tell if he was serious at this point. Then i guess he realised that i wasn’t…

NorWing
if you’re so smart, please tell me how I can post a job in ubercart.org
thank you!
Me
Its not posting its spamming, and i would tell you but your paying a little under my usual rate. That is for sitting in front of a computer! I would, however, fart your national anthem:

  • in any key you want
  • on my back or facing downwards
  • with the last note captured in a paper bag
  • and you can watch on oDesk
  • For your 1euro/hour rate.
  • What do you say, you like? I have many customers who can recommend me for this. Thank you for your attention!

You’ll be sad to know: he didn’t get back to me.

Recursively remove .DS_Store files

If your working on a coding project and your submitting it to version control, heres how to remove the meta-schmeg that OS X leaves around:

find . -name '*.DS_Store' -type f -delete

If your using GIT as your versioning control system then I’d suggest making a .gitignore file in the root of the project after running this command and before you git init to save yourself some bother.

Ruby on Rails on Mac OS X in 5 minutes

So I just discovered that Leopard comes with a version of Ruby on Rails (RoR) pre-installed. The only problem is its a bit dated but there is a command-line one-liner to update it all no sweat with RubyGem (the Ruby package manager):
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Design Patters are Patented?!

I was looking at the PHP5 (no this is not about PHP) Reflection API and came across a post talking about the “Dynamic Proxy” design pattern. As I didn’t know what it was about I did a quick search and found that the design pattern had a US Patent on it! I was disgusted and appalled that design patterns could be patented. This is like putting a patent on a certain English sentence grammar.

Obviously the guys at the US Patent office don’t understand what they are allowing to happen. Imagine if 90% of all programming was patented, which can be done fairly easily, it would completely retard innovation and an sort of progress. Fortunately is this impossible to enforce in closed source code software but Open Source [OS] is another story. This could be the biggest legal threat to OS so far. Large companies who have the budget, could have teams that sift thought their OS competition looking for patent infringements and shutting them down. An ugly thought which would gain them only hatred from the developer community. Lets hope that’s enough of a disincentive…

dojo.beer() – Berlin

Dojo.beer(), Berlin
Pictured (from left): Tobias aka klipstein (München), Norman aka matsuri (Berlin), Victoria & Nikolai aka nonken (Amsterdam) and Wolfram aka mccain (München) [note: aka’s are IRC names
Yesterday I meet some Dojo developers in Berlin for the dojo.beer() which was announced on the Dojo website last week. It was a sunny day and we hit one of Berlins many beaches next to the Spree.
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Drupal, the swiss army knife of CMS’es

I just completed another site called ‘Picture Your Rights‘ for the Dutch NGO Loesje whose international HQ is now in Berlin. Its a Photo & Slogan completion about Human Rights and anyone can upload a picture or post a slogan. There will be 4 rounds each with a different theme.
Continue reading “Drupal, the swiss army knife of CMS’es”

Defining the Semantic of Markup

Semantics in regard to HTML markup is a murky water. This is because web pages are usually not an essay style document, which HTML was designed to markup, and contain information that is not actually relevant to what the page is about. Examples would be: menus, shopping cart information, summaries of forum activity, and the other half of HTML design: user/human interfaces. To say or even think that HTML can encapsulate all the “meanings” that human language structures can come up with (which are actually infinite), not to mention the non-language structures found on web systems representing a computer system interface, is naive. It is also an assumption that has never been backed up by any standards body in argument and thats because its simply wrong. The Microformat standard and now POSH process seem to be unwittingly dealing with the problem without understanding it. This is actually an applied philosophy problem!

Continue reading “Defining the Semantic of Markup”