Recent “job” offer

Cool job offer guy

So I was minding my own business when I little alert email from my Ubercart account came in to tell me that i had a message waiting. I haven’ been involved in the Ubercart project for over 2 years and was surprised. I was unamazed to find an job offer (since the last 10 messages from there have been individuals looking for a cheap way to get an online store happening). The job offer was fairly long and boring so I didn’t bother reading it before my first replay:

Me
where is it and whats the rate?
NorWing
You can work from home.
We’re in European Union.
The project have a fix price. We’re not interested regarding hourly rate.
Thank you for your attention!

The words “fixed price” immediately made me lose interest. Every web-geek has done her fair share of “fixed price” jobs with unfixed hours. BUT you never knew. They might have a lot of cash “fixed”…?

Me
So then what is the time frame and how much can you offer?
NorWing
Your question it’s not pretty cool..
You don’t know nothing about the project and you’re asking for money?

“cool”? I knew this guy was a serious business guy now I did. But he was right! I still hadn’t read anything about the job. So I did…

General Requirements:
• Proficiency in PHP and Javascript, preferably jQuery
• Experience with Drupal, preferably Drupal 7
• Familiarity with Context, Features and other Drupal site-building modules
• Experience with version control, especially Git
• Familiarity with Apache, Nginx, Linux, MySQL
• Knowledge of web standards, including HTML, XHTML, CSS, XML
• Creativity, initiative, follow-through, meticulous attention to detail
and impeccable organizational skills

The usual “You will know EVERY technology we can think of which may-or-may-not be relavent to this project (just in case)”. The ending was interesting however:

We request technical recommendations and technical plan for the project.
Also we want to see your projects in Drupal 7 / Ubercart 3 and recommendations from these projects!

Time frame it’s VERY VERY important! In this way, you’ll work with our team.

Payments: we’ll release multiple payments after every specified task according with oDesk policy for fixed price jobs. We don’t release upfront payments.
The contract can be divided in max. 5 tasks.

IF YOU’RE THINKING THAT YOU’RE NOT EXPERT IN THIS KIND OF WORK, PLEASE DON’T SPEND YOUR TIME AND DON’T APPLY!

WE PREFER INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPER(Engineer!), INSTEAD COMPANY!

Yes, the old “Time frame it’s VERY VERY important!” line, and they prefer individuals (because a company won’t work off the clock and demand a contract).

AND then there is oDesk. If the Egyptian Pharaohs where asked to design an online job market, they would have come up with oDesk. As they say “See work-in-progress screenshots”. You can feel the man standing over you with the whip.

Me

Not pretty cool?

I thought we were talking about business not fashion? Your the one who mass-emailed me (which is really not pretty or cool).

Yes, i’m talking money because who works for free? I guess your after a “cool” developer who works for free or around 2euros/hour. We call them suckers in the web game (or any other game really).

Besides, your the one who says “Time frame it’s VERY VERY important!”. If your paying dick then i guess it is, but you havent said what the time frame is or how much per task. I guess you thought it was important BECAUSE ITS THE ONLY PARTY YOU LEFT THE CAPS-LOCK ON FOR.

So stop pulling by cock and tell me what the story is.

NorWing
yes. 1euro/hour..is fine?

I couldn’t actually tell if he was serious at this point. Then i guess he realised that i wasn’t…

NorWing
if you’re so smart, please tell me how I can post a job in ubercart.org
thank you!
Me
Its not posting its spamming, and i would tell you but your paying a little under my usual rate. That is for sitting in front of a computer! I would, however, fart your national anthem:

  • in any key you want
  • on my back or facing downwards
  • with the last note captured in a paper bag
  • and you can watch on oDesk
  • For your 1euro/hour rate.
  • What do you say, you like? I have many customers who can recommend me for this. Thank you for your attention!

You’ll be sad to know: he didn’t get back to me.

Links ARE meaning

This is a great TED talk from Tim Berners-Lee who created the internet. Here he talks about Linked Data and the importance of sharing and linking data.

Just as with his first break-through, the hyperlink, he realises that its the links that make things useful. To take this on step further the linking is how we embed mean into web documents. The same applied with data. Data by itself is not as useful as data linked to other data and this linkage is meaningful.

Linking was only half the story and Tim doesn’t talk about the importance of standardising the data format, which by the way he also underestimated with HTML and why web developers have had a nightmare with different web browsers interpretation of HTML. Data formats is the less exciting half of the equation but is going to be just as critical. Especially with numbers like dates, currencies, measurements (and their metrics) etc. I’m thinking (hoping, praying) that we’ve learnt our leasons from HTML and people know when and how to draw up a standard for data formats before this thing explodes.

Forgotten Visions of the Web

I’ve been inspired by a great lecture, The Web that Wasn’t by Alex Wright, which traces the history of precursor ideas and thinking that ether lead to the web or where ideas much greater than the Internet is right now.

Here are some of the ideas that were missed out on and I believe are sill possible with internet technology today: Continue reading “Forgotten Visions of the Web”

Ruby on Rails on Mac OS X in 5 minutes

So I just discovered that Leopard comes with a version of Ruby on Rails (RoR) pre-installed. The only problem is its a bit dated but there is a command-line one-liner to update it all no sweat with RubyGem (the Ruby package manager):
Continue reading “Ruby on Rails on Mac OS X in 5 minutes”

Seek for Thunderbird is HOT!


I just stumbled across the SIMILE project form the famous MIT and, as the screen cast above proves, they have some hot stuff to play with both online for your website and software extensions for FireFox and Thunderbird. This is almost enough to switch back to Thunderbird from the tired old, doggy Mail (Mac)!

Design Patters are Patented?!

I was looking at the PHP5 (no this is not about PHP) Reflection API and came across a post talking about the “Dynamic Proxy” design pattern. As I didn’t know what it was about I did a quick search and found that the design pattern had a US Patent on it! I was disgusted and appalled that design patterns could be patented. This is like putting a patent on a certain English sentence grammar.

Obviously the guys at the US Patent office don’t understand what they are allowing to happen. Imagine if 90% of all programming was patented, which can be done fairly easily, it would completely retard innovation and an sort of progress. Fortunately is this impossible to enforce in closed source code software but Open Source [OS] is another story. This could be the biggest legal threat to OS so far. Large companies who have the budget, could have teams that sift thought their OS competition looking for patent infringements and shutting them down. An ugly thought which would gain them only hatred from the developer community. Lets hope that’s enough of a disincentive…

dojo.beer() – Berlin

Dojo.beer(), Berlin
Pictured (from left): Tobias aka klipstein (München), Norman aka matsuri (Berlin), Victoria & Nikolai aka nonken (Amsterdam) and Wolfram aka mccain (München) [note: aka’s are IRC names
Yesterday I meet some Dojo developers in Berlin for the dojo.beer() which was announced on the Dojo website last week. It was a sunny day and we hit one of Berlins many beaches next to the Spree.
Continue reading “dojo.beer() – Berlin”

Drupal, the swiss army knife of CMS’es

I just completed another site called ‘Picture Your Rights‘ for the Dutch NGO Loesje whose international HQ is now in Berlin. Its a Photo & Slogan completion about Human Rights and anyone can upload a picture or post a slogan. There will be 4 rounds each with a different theme.
Continue reading “Drupal, the swiss army knife of CMS’es”